The blog-o-sphere is a funny place.
When I sit down to write, I have a goal in mind for an outcome of that writing. My suspicion is that most people would have a similar idea in mind for any hobby or work that they are doing. For work it probably easier: Work -> Make money -> Live.
For hobbies though? How many of us could actually make a living just writing?
The problem with me is that I have what I would consider a creative mind. I have so many more ideas than I will ever be able to create – therefore writing is an outlet that let’s these ideas stream from my consciousness down through my fingers, into the keyboard, and land as splashes of black ink on the glowing screen in front of me.
Many years ago I started writing. Actually blogging. I am not sure the difference in definition between the two, and honestly it doesn’t matter right now. I started because I wasn’t using up all of my creative energy during my work and needed an outlet. I guess I felt a little bit frustrated at some of the things I couldn’t control.
So I started writing. I created a website, and started streaming bits and fragments of that consciousness onto the page then out into the world for all to see. The interesting thing was – I had some success with it. Now – let’s be very clear here – a definition of success for this effort is a very nebulous target, thus requiring it to be a fairly self-defined accomplishment.
Therefore, my level of success was dopamine hits when watching the graph on Medium show that people were reading the content and also seeing a few coins drop into the piggy bank as a result. However, we must draw the line at making a career out of this. The level of success achieved was nowhere near the ballpark needed to consider making an actual career shift into this world.
Besides – this was a hobby. It was an outlet. It let me vent steam and drive conversations in a fully controlled system. It let me ideate and frankly, it was fun.
Then I stopped.
Over a 2+ year span I had written more than an article per week on average. What stopped me wasn’t that I lost interest – but it was a new job. One where I had to stretch and grow a little bit. It was at a place where I loved. It was my unicorn job. I was in love – and didn’t feel that drive to write and ideate as much.
So time went on, things changed, life happened.
And I’m back.
The reason is that when you work sometimes organizations have to pay the piper. This often occurs through an event called layoffs. I was caught up in a round of layoffs and that sparked something that I hadn’t seen in a while. The creativity itch was back.
And here I am writing again. But as the flywheel of ideas starts spinning up for me, I wanted to take a moment and pontificate why I am doing this. What is the point of these words?
The first is easy. I am doing this for me. This is my outlet, this is my current hobby, and this is my joy right now. It is a creative outlet. There is a smile on my face as I type these words. The idea spigot is on full blast. And even if it wasn’t? Looking back at my old site ( kevinwanke.com ) I see that while I wrote and published 111 posts there, I actually started 442 other drafts that were never published. The floodgates have opened! Here comes the blog posts!
But more than this – I could just as easily write for myself, keep it private. Get the words out. However, in my career I have changed a lot. I used to be overly analytical, focused on computers. They are systems that are simple in function. While the implementation may be challenging, at the end of the day you tell them what to do and they do it. It is pretty black and white. Problem and solution. That is engineering.
However, the more time I have spent working with other humans, the more I realize that I can help others. I have been an engineering manager, director, and leader for double digit years now. As time has progressed, I find myself being more and more of a people person. Empathy resonates stronger than code. It doesn’t mean I have stopped creating – I still love to get into that deep flow state on a challenging problem that I can magically write a solution for. But at a professional level, something has superseded that for me.
Seeing an engineer and a team success is now my highest form of dopamine. It gets me up in the morning. I still get to be part of solving the same challenges and problems. It is still engineering and finding solutions, but now I get to empower others. It brings another level of joy to engineering.
So why this post? It is a little personal celebration of joy. It is an encouragement to anyone reading these words to step back and make sure you understand what drives you. I know I am not ever going to make a living writing, but who cares? I know that my writing has improved, but that isn’t my goal here. I want to share my ideas with the world and if I can help even one personal along the way then that is worth it to me.
In a lot of organizations people use something called a 1-on-1 to connect with and help build relationships with people on their team or others at an organization. Well, this is my form of 1-on-1 with the world. And I like to make sure that people know I am here to help in any way I can. So I leave you with this: How can I help?
As always, thank you for reading and have an awesome day!